


KALEIDOSCOPE || tobias eaton x kora sinclair

by velairs



Category: Divergent (Movies), Divergent Series - Veronica Roth
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst with a Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-23
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-05-27 10:41:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15022838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/velairs/pseuds/velairs
Summary: "i want your fears, your hopes, the whole kaleidoscope" // oc x tobias eaton/four





	1. DEVILS

**Author's Note:**

> britt robertson as kora sinclair  
> theo james as four\tobias eaton
> 
> each chapter has a song you should listen to while reading!

_devils - say hi_

I was 14 when I met him and if I knew what was the outcome I would have walked straight past him. Actually, knowing myself I would probably have done the exact same thing just for the hell of it.

Uriah and I were walking down the corridor that led to the kitchen when we walked into his older brother, Zeke, showing an initiate around.

"Hey!" Uriah yelled out, running to his brother. He was almost as tall as Zeke, despite being two years younger.

"What are you doing here? Please tell me you two are not trying to steal cake from the kitchen again."

"Actually, that's exactly what we're doing, wanna help?" I quickly said, with a smile on my face, while Uriah muttered an exasperated  _Kora!_  at me.

"That's quite tempting, I must admit, but I need to show Four around."

"Four?" I looked over to the boy on his side, properly noticing him for the first time "I must tell you, pal, your parents were not creative, do you have three other siblings or something?"

"No, I chose it," he said without much enthusiasm, but I saw the corners twitch, almost as if he wanted to smile at my stupid joke.

"He transferred from abnegation, he's not good with jokes, so try to tone it down a bit, Kora."

"Zeke, you know that's impossible, have you ever seen Kora go a day without making a joke?" Uriah chuckled, resting his arm on my shoulder, probably only to discreetly mock our height difference.

"You guys are insufferable, now, are we going to steal cake or not?" I snarled back and shoved his arm off my shoulder.  
  


Later that day I met Four once again. Me and Uriah were eating what was left of our stolen cake on alleyway near the pit when he and Zeke walked past us and decided to stop for a chat.

"You guys are still eating that cake?" 

"Dude, what are you? Our mother?" Uriah mumbled at his brother, spitting cake all over the floor.

"Gross,  but no, I'm just surprised you two are not obese yet," 

"Fuck off, Zeke," I rolled my eyes.

"Woah, do you kiss your mo-" he quickly stopped talking when Uriah threw his shoe at him, "Ouch! Dude sorry, I didn't realize-"

"Yeah, you clearly didn't," I said as I got up and walked away from them, not waiting for them to say something or even to run after me.

"What's up with her?" I heard Four ask before I turned on another corridor, too far to hear anything else.  
  


It was past midnight when we met again, I was sitting on a part of the complex that was usually very empty, the floor was made of stone and the ceiling was made of glass so you could see the sky, which was very clear that day.

"Kora?" I heard Four say as he stepped into the room.

"Yes?"

"Uriah told me I would find you here, he also said I shouldn't bother you today but-"

"You should have listened to him," 

"I'm sorry, I just wanted to ask if you were okay," he said as he walked towards the door.

"Wait... You don't need to go, I'm sorry I was rude," why was I apologizing? I don't do apologies.

"Uriah told me about your mother and I thought you might need someone to talk to, even if it's not someone you're friends with-"

"Just shut up and sit down,"

I saw the corners of his mouth twitch once again that day and he sat next to me, leaning against the wall.

"My mom died four years ago, on this day, that's why I got angry at what Zeke said," I decided to explain myself, I wasn't sure why though, "it's just me and my older sister now,"

"What about your father?"

"Don't you think it's unfair for you to be asking questions here? I mean, I don't even know your real name,"

He hesitated for a second, "it's Tobias,"

"Why did you choose Four?"

"Well, I have four fears so-"

"Wait, only four? Most people have like fifteen,"

He stayed quiet for a while and I realized he didn't want to talk about this.

"My father just hooked up with my mom, it was never serious, you know?" I sighed, "he never really cared, it was just sex for him, but my mom was in love, she gave him everything he wanted, for two years, but then my sister was born and he decided to leave,"

"He came back after seven years and my mom was foolish enough to forgive him," I went on, looking directly at the ceiling, "that's when she had me and he left again. I never met him, only heard about him, about what a jerk he was,"

"I'm sorry, Kora,"

"You don't need to apologize, you had nothing to do with it,"

"Would you accept an apology from your father?"

"No, I don't think so," I said after thinking about it a little, "why do you ask?"

"Just curious," he shrugged.

"I thought abnegation condemned curiosity,"

"I'm not from abnegation anymore,"

"Right, yeah... do you miss your family?"

"No," he answered without hesitating, which led me to think he didn't like his family very much.

We stayed in silence for some minutes, each staring at the sky through the glass ceiling, until I decided to ask, "what made you leave abnegation? I mean, besides the test,"

I looked at him and saw him bite his lower lip for a moment, hesitating, "my mother died when I was a kid and my father was... is very abusive," he looked straight up, I could tell he wasn't quite sure why he was telling me that.

"Would you forgive him?"

"No," he looked at me for a second and I knew everything we just said was going to stay between us.

  
From that day on we became very close friends, no one seemed to understand why we got along so well, and honestly, neither did I. 

Looking back, I don't think I would've done things any differently, regardless of the consequences.


	2. FREAKS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the initiation

 

_ Freaks - machines are people too _

 

"Where the hell have you been? I have been looking for you for hours!" that wasn't true, it had only been thirty minutes.

"Well, you did a very poor job then, I've been in here the whole time," Four replied, walking to the training room door, where I stood.

"Have you? Well, it's not important now anyway, are you free now?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I want to take you somewhere,"

"Where?"

"It's a surprise,"

“You know I hate surprises,” he argued.

I sigh and give up, “I just want to take you somewhere out of the compound, the choosing ceremony is tomorrow and I won’t be able to get out of this place for weeks, so—”

”Fine, I'll go with you,” 

 

About forty minutes later Tobias and I were sitting under a tree, close to the path that led to the Marsh.

”I was going to take you to that old building, the one close to the Candor compound, but then I remembered the last time I tried to take you there, ” I said, with a faint smile, resting my head against his shoulder.

He chuckled, ”that was very cruel of you.”

”No, it wasn't! I had no idea you were afraid of heights!”

”You could've asked me,”

”Oh come on, I didn't even suspect the  _ fearless Four _ would be afraid of heights, ” 

”Then you should've known better, ” he gave me a small smile and I knew why. No one knew him better than I did.

I still had no idea why he was so open with me, I was thankful for his trust though.

”How was your aptitude test?” He suddenly asked.

”We’re not supposed to talk about it, are we?”

”No, but since when do you care about the rules?” I saw the corners of his mouth turn slightly up.

”They were inconclusive, ” I blurted out, quietly. I knew I wasn't supposed to tell anyone that, but I trusted Four more than anyone else.

”Inconclusive?”

”Yeah, I could go to Candor, Erudite or Dauntless… At least, that was what the test said,”

”What will you choose?”

”Is that even a question? Dauntless, of course!” 

_ Of course.  _ Was there even another option? I did think life would be easier at Candor or Erudite but leaving Dauntless was just out of the question.

”Good, ” he chuckled.

”Were you worried I would leave you?”

”Absolutely not, I wouldn't care a bit if you did, ” he joked.

”You’re a terrible liar, you would weep like a baby if I left!”

He laughed, ”probably.”

 

The next day was just a blur, I had chosen Dauntless, as I said I would, but I couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if I had chosen another faction.

I sat on my bunk bed, next to Uriah, who was complaining about how much he had eaten.

”I seriously don't know how you can fit so much food in such a tiny stomach,”

”It’s magic, ” he chuckled, his hand over his belly.

”Sounds more like greediness to me, ” Marlene said, walking towards us, followed by Lynn.

”Oh, shut up!” Uriah said and threw his shoe at her, but she quickly moved out of the way.

”Did you see the first jumper was a Stiff?” Lynn asked, changing the topic of the conversation.

”Yeah, Tris, wasn't it?” I say.

”I think so. Let's see how long she's going to last.”

”Don’t be so mean, Lynn, she might surprise us, ” Uriah said.

”I doubt it.”

”You doubt a lot of things, ” I say with a smile.

”There’s no point in disagreeing with you, is there?”

”Nope, ” I laid down on my bed, ”now, can we please go to sleep? I'm exhausted,”

 

Two days in the first stage of training and my muscles were already sore, my knuckles red and scarred, like everyone else’s. Lauren was a good instructor, nice but firm, but we didn’t need much, we had been training for this our whole lives, our bodies were already used to physical activity, to punching and running. I pitied the transfers, who had no physical preparation for any of this.

Then, the training room door opened and a woman came in, she was lean and tall, her hair was so dark it looked black, it was tied up on a ponytail but a few strands fell over her face, she had a small nose like mine and piercing blue eyes. My sister.

“Lana, what are you doing here?” I ask, my dislike for my sister was no secret to anyone, neither was hers for me.

“Lauren was not able to make it, so  _ Eric _ asked me to fill in for her,” she answered, tucking her hair behind her ear. Her posture was straight, as if she was looking down at us. 

_ Awesome,  _ I thought, bitterly.

“You will resume what you were doing yesterday, fighting. The ones who have already fought yesterday don’t need to fight today, as for the ones who didn’t, well, you know the drill,” her lips curled up into a smirk, she loved giving us orders. She looked over at the names on the chalkboard, “Uriah, you’ll fight Marlene, Lynn, you’ll fight James, Kora… you’re not paired with anyone and since the rest fought yesterday, you’ll fight me.”

“Isn’t that against the rules?” Uriah asks, his hand on my shoulder. I felt the need to push it off me, I didn’t need his protection against my sister, but I let it slide.

“Not that I’m aware of,” Lana shrugs, “well, hurry up, no time to waste.”

Uriah sighs and walks over to the center of the arena with Marlene. I don’t know who to root for, they’re both my friends, so I just hope they don’t hurt each other too much. The fight starts, I don’t pay attention to any of it, my eyes are focused on Lana, but her eyes are focused on the fight, I think she enjoys watching my friends hit each other, I wouldn't be surprised if she did.

And then, soon enough, Marlene is lying on the floor, knocked out, Uriah kneels down next to her and shakes her until she wakes up and slaps his arm. They laugh and walk over to me. 

“Did you see me kick Mar’s butt?” Uriah laughs as Marlene brushes her fingers on her cheek, it was red where Uriah had hit her.

“Obviously, I’m not blind,” I roll my eyes. Lynn’s next, she walks up to the arena and so does James. He is taller than her, but weaker. I have no doubts about who’s going to win.

We watch them fight, it doesn’t take long. Lynn is really good, she’s both fast and strong, James didn’t stand a chance. It took less than five minutes and James was knocked out by Lynn.

I hear Lana calling out my name as she walked to the arena. Uriah squeezes my shoulder, wishing me good luck and I walk towards my sister.

I position myself in front of her, my arms protecting my face. She was tall, but not tall enough to be heavy and slow, she had seven more years of training than I had, every odd was in her favor.

She charges at me and I quickly move out of her way. Lana doesn’t take long to charge at me again, she grabs a hold of my shoulders and slams her knee into my stomach, the air was forced out of my lungs.

As I try to push myself away from her, but her fist finds my face. She punches my jaw so hard, my vision starts to darken. I fall to the floor, her foot hits my back and then my face, I feel blood running down my face and my vision goes dark. I feel nothing.

 

I remember my mom taking care of me when I got sick, she used to sit next to me and hold my hand until I fell asleep. 

When I woke up it wasn’t her sitting next to me, it was Four. I look around the room and quickly recognize as the hospital wing.

“Hey,” he smiles, looking at me.

“How bad do I look?” I groan, my head throbs and my back aches.

“Could be worse.”

“That’s not very reassuring.”

“She shouldn’t have fought with you, Kora.”

I scowl, “it’s not the first time she does that.”

He raises an eyebrow. I never told him that. He sighs, “what she did was against Dauntless’ rules, I could file a report-”

“No way, that wouldn’t do any good.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You just did, but shoot.”

“Why does she hate you so much?”

“She thinks it’s my fault our father left,” I roll my eyes and shrug, “I don’t really care though, as long as I don’t have to see her on a daily basis, which I don’t, I mean, not since Uriah’s mom let me live with them.”

“Do  _ you _ think it’s your fault?”

“No, of course not, my dad was just a jerk, it has nothing to do with me.”

Did I really believe that though?

He didn’t look convinced, but didn’t ask any more questions, “I need to go, will you be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll just go back to the dormitories.”

He nods, gets up and leaves. I lay in the bed for a while, until I decide to get up and find Uriah and my friends. My sister put me in that hospital bed, but I sure wasn’t going to spend any more time there than strictly necessary. 


	3. MESS AROUND

_ mess around - cage the elephant _

It was visiting day, the transfers’ parents would be allowed to come in the compound and visit their kids, while the Dauntless-born spend the day with their families. 

I sit on my bed, staring at the wall in front of me. Would I spend the day with my sister? 

I scold myself for even thinking that, there was no point in trying to spend time with someone who hated me. I sigh, the dormitory was empty, everyone was with their families, except me.

Uriah walks through the door, towards me, “What are you doing here? Mom’s asking about you.”

“What?”

“You heard me, Kora, you shouldn’t be alone in here today, you’re family too.”

I surge of gratitude runs through me, I smile and get up, “Thanks, Uriah.”

“Don’t thank me,” he rolls his eyes, grabs my wrist and pulls me out of the room.

We run all the way to the pit, his hand holding mine at all times.

“Kora, where have you been?” Hana, Uriah’s mom, asks me once we get to her.

“I just thought I shouldn’t bother you and-”

“Nonsense, you’re part of our family, you should be with us today,” she smiles and I feel Uriah wrapping his arm around my shoulders, he is so close to me I can feel the warmth of his body and I honestly don’t mind it.

“How has initiation been for you? Uriah told me you haven’t lost a fight since you fought your sister,” she says, smiling at us. She clearly didn’t mind how close Uriah was to me.

“Yeah, I mean, I trained a lot since that day,” I shrug.

“She’s being modest, she’s been kicking ass,” Uriah says.

“Yours included,” I laugh and he does too.

I see Four standing on the railings by himself, looking at me and suddenly I feel very conscious of Uriah’s arm around me.

 

When Uriah and I go back to the dormitory the chalkboard with the rankings is already up. 

‘Well done, Kora,’ Marlene says, smiling at me.

I look up at the board and my mouth falls open.

_ 1.KORA _

I feel a smile curling around my lips as Uriah wraps his arm around my shoulders and congratulates me. I look at the names again.

_ 2.URIAH _

_ 3.LYNN _

_ 4.JAMES _

_ 5.MARLENE _

I don’t pay attention to the rest of the names, me and my friends are on top, that’s all I care about.

 

The next day, I come back to the Dauntless compound with my hair messy and tangled after going zip-lining with a few Dauntless-initiates and other members. While my friends go to the cafeteria have dinner, I make my way to Four’s apartment and knock on the door.

He opens it and stared at my hair, ‘you look like you were very close to a hurricane.’

‘I went zip-lining,’ I explain and he makes a face that clearly suggests how much he would hate to do that.

‘Well, why did you come here?’

‘You’re not happy that I’m here?’

‘That’s not what I said,’ he frowns, ‘I just figured you’d be with Uriah.’

‘He went to dinner and I’m not really hungry, besides we haven’t spent much time together since initiation started.’

He steps aside and lets me in, closing the door behind me. I sit on his bed, my hands resting on my thighs. My knuckles were red and scarred from punching people and bags.

‘I saw your ranking earlier today, congratulations,’ he smiles at me.

‘Thanks,’ I smile back.

Our conversation dies down and he sits next to me, our silence is so comfortable I don’t feel the need to fill it.

‘Are you and Uriah…’ I know what he means to ask, but I’m not sure why he isn’t direct like he always is.

‘Oh no, we’re just friends, at least I think so.’

‘You think so?’

‘I don’t want to sound cocky, but I think he likes me, he is always finding an excuse to wrap his arm around me or to be around me, and he flirts a lot, more than he used to do when he was joking anyway.’

‘How do you feel about it?’

‘I’m not sure yet,’ I shrug, Four wasn’t one to talk about feelings much, so I try to change the subject, ‘How was training transfer initiates?’

‘Good. Listen, I need to talk to you about something, but you can’t tell anyone I told you this okay?’

I furrow my eyebrows at him, but nod anyway.

‘Tomorrow the second stage of training starts and, as you know, it’s the fear simulation. During the simulation you’re not supposed to be aware you’re in it, but unlike most people, you’ll be, like you were in the aptitude test.’

‘Why does that—’

‘Don’t ask me anything, just do as I say. Pretend the simulation is real, okay? Don’t do anything you wouldn’t do in real life, don’t make things appear out of nowhere, do you understand?’

‘Yeah, but why is that so important? Why can’t I be aware I’m in a simulation?’

‘Because it’s not normal, you shouldn’t be aware and if people know that you are… bad things happen. Remember Amar?’

‘The instructor who jumped into the Chasm? Yeah.’

‘Amar didn’t jump, he knew when he was in a simulation, just like you, and Dauntless leaders found out.’

‘So they killed him? Why? It makes no sense.’

‘It does for them. Just do what I said, okay?’

I nod and get up, ‘see you tomorrow.’

He gives me a faint smile and I leave.

I go straight to bed when I get back to the dormitory, too tired to talk. My mind buzzes with everything Four told me until I fall asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is highkey  
> a filler   
> also, i'm sorry i take so   
> long to update, i just  
> lose motivation very easily


	4. NO GOOD

_ no good - kaleo _

_ TOBIAS EATON _

Watching other people’s simulations feels evasive, like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be. 

Kora is the next one to take the test, she walks into the room with her head held high, but her hands are shaking.

When she walks up to me I plunge the syringe into her neck, pressing the plunger down, she doesn’t even flinch. She looks at me for a second and sits in the chair.

I stare at the monitor, where I can see what she’s seeing, she stands at the edge of a building, the wind hits her in the face. In that situation, I would not even be able to breathe properly, but Kora seemed to have no problem, her heart rate was normal and she looked calm.

But then, hands grab her arms, restraining her, pushing her towards the edge. That’s when she started to panic, she thrashed against them, trying to get herself free, but the more she struggled the harder they held her.

After a few moments, she manages to free herself from them, but she’s already too close to the edge, she falls over it, screaming as her body falls to the ground and she can do nothing to stop it. 

She wakes up, jumping out of the chair, breathing heavily.

‘What was that?’ I ask.

‘Huh?’

‘I didn’t know you were afraid of heights.’

‘I’m not.’

‘Then why were you on a rooftop?’

‘I’m not sure,’ she admits, ‘how long was I in the simulation?’

‘About two minutes.’

She nodded and wiped the sweat off of her forehead, ‘does it ever get easier?’

‘Not always, no, but you learn how to deal with it,’ I give her a small smile, ‘you’re free to go now.’

 

The next day, when she walks into the room she looks wary and maybe even worried.

‘What’s wrong?’ I ask, furrowing my eyebrows.

‘Nothing,’ she said, I could tell she wasn’t really paying attention to me, or to anything in particular. 

‘You’re a terrible liar, Kora.’

She sits in the chair and just stares at me, ‘Will you just shut up and start the damn simulation?’ 

I rolled my eyes at her as I plunged the syringe into her neck and pushed the plunger down.

Once again, it wasn’t long until she closes her eyes and the simulation starts.

She stands in a dimly lit room, there’s a man I don’t recognize standing a few feet away from her. He stares at her, but doesn’t say anything.

Then, out of nowhere, she lunges at him, wrapping her hands around his throat as they both fell to the ground. She keeps him pinned to the ground and starts throwing punches at him, aiming for his face.

She hit him again and again, until his face was so bloody and bruised it was almost unrecognizable. 

‘Stop,’ he mumbled, his lips were swollen and cut.

‘I can’t,’ she snarled back, only then I realized her breathing was heavy and it looked like she was trying to pull back her punches, but her body was out of her control.

She closes her hands around his throat and chokes him until his eyes roll to the back of his head and his breathing stops. The body vanishes and she’s left on her knees, shaking, staring at her blood-stained hands.

She wakes up and jumps out of the chair again, violently wiping her hands on her pants as if there was still blood left on them.

‘Hey, hey! It’s okay, it’s over,’ I put my hand on her shoulder, but she quickly shoves it off, turning to me with tears in her eyes.

‘Get off me!’ She screams.

‘Kora, the simulation is over,’ I grab her hands, ‘see, your hands are clean.’

She shook her head and pulled her hands away from mine, ‘I need… I need some air,’ she says and walks out of the door.

I don’t go after her, my mind buzzes with questions, but I have to save them for later.

I call the next initiate inside.

 

That night someone knocks on my apartment’s door. I open the door only to see a very bruised and very beaten up Kora.

‘Do you mind if I crash here tonight?’ She asks, wiping the blood away from a cut in her mouth.

‘What did you do?’ I ask, raising my eyebrows as I let her in.

‘Why do you think  _ I  _ did something?’

‘Because you’re trouble,’ I answer simply and grab a wet towel from the bathroom, ‘sit down.’

‘Four, I’m fine.’

‘Sure,’ I say sarcastically and hand her the towel, ‘now, will you please tell me what happened?’

She wipes the blood off of her face, ‘Karma.’

‘Kora…’ I look at her, ‘you can tell me the truth, you know that.’

She sighs and rolls her eyes, ‘fine, it was my jerk of a sister, she watched my simulation footage and said she wanted to “ _ get the cowardice out of me _ ” or whatever, I think she just sees me as a great stress relieving punching bag.’

I stare at her for a moment, stunned. Did she really not care about this? Why wasn’t she angry? ‘That’s… That’s insane!’

‘I’ve seen worse,’ she looks at me in a knowing way and I know she’s talking about my father. She hands me the towel back, ‘Huh, we both have really shitty relatives, don’t we? Maybe that’s why we get along so well.’

I smile a little, ‘maybe.’

‘I’m sorry I snapped at you earlier.’

‘What was that simulation all about? Did you know that guy?’

‘No, though I knew he had never done anything to provoke me or something, I just… I started hitting him and I couldn’t stop, it was like my brain told my body to stop, but it just wouldn’t stop, I was… I was out of control.’

And then I understood, ‘you’re not afraid of being pushed off of a rooftop, or of punching someone to death.’

‘I’m not?’ She furrowed her eyebrows and looks at me as if I’m crazy.

‘No, you’re afraid of losing control over a situation or over yourself, you’re afraid of being powerless.’

‘That… actually makes sense.’

‘I think watching lots of simulations might have made me good at interpreting people’s fears,’ I shrug.

We stand in silence for a few moments, both lost in thought.

‘Four, I would really appreciate if you didn’t tell anyone about my sister.’

‘Are you sure? I could report this to the leaders.’

‘No, that would just make it worse, she’s really close friends with Eric and Max, they’d just tell her.’

I sighed but nodded, ‘okay, I won’t tell, as long as you try to stay away from her.’

‘Okay, fine, mom!’ She mocked me with her usual playful smile.

I just roll my eyes at her, ‘sleep on my bed, I’ll take the floor.’

‘Are you sure? I can take the floor, I’m not  _ that _ hurt.’

‘Yeah, I’m sure, you need to rest.’

She nods and lays down, ‘I don’t usually thank you but-’

‘You don’t need to, I know.’

She smiles at me and turns to the other side to sleep.

I lay down on the mattress I made with some bed covers and pillows. It’s uncomfortable, but it could be worse.

As she falls asleep I notice a tattoo of a dragon creeping out of her shirt, it went up to the back of her neck, it was small, very small compared to mine, but I knew what the dragon meant.  _ Strength and power.  _

And I thought it was perfect for her.


	5. WICKED GAMES

_wicked games - the hot damns_

_KORA SINCLAIR_

I stand near the chasm, the railings dug into my forearm as I used them to support most of my weight, standing on my tiptoes. I look down at the water crashing on the rocks and imagine my body falling into the river, I know that if the fall didn’t kill me the water would. I would drown.

I shake my head, my palms are sweating, the fear simulations had taken a toll on me, on all of us, every time I stopped moving, my fears crept back into my head, keeping me at constant uneasiness.

‘How long have you been standing here?’ Uriah stands a few feet from me, his hands on his pockets.

‘Not sure,’ I lean back, away from the railings, and look at my forearms, ‘if my arms are any indication, then quite a while.’

He grins and walks up to me, ‘do you want to, I don’t know, hang out?’

‘Are you asking me out?’

‘If I were, would you say yes?’

‘I’ll think about it,’ I squint as if I’m thinking, he just rolls his eyes at me, ‘I thought about it, let’s go.’

‘Now?’

‘Of course.’

‘Where are we going?’

‘No idea,’ I say, cheerfully, ‘We could throw punches at each other, steal cake, shoot something.’

‘I was hoping for something more romantic,’ he scratched the back of his neck, he looked nervous.

‘Hey, throwing punches at each other can be very romantic!’

‘I really don’t know where you got your weird definition of romance,’ he chuckles, ‘you know what? I think I’ll settle for stealing some cake and talking.’

‘That’s not a terrible idea, let’s go.’

She held his hand and he looked like he would pass out, but tried to hold it together.

Fifteen minutes later I sat with Uriah in a deserted corridor. I had managed to distract the guy who kitchen’s chief long enough for Uriah to steal two pieces of cake.

‘So, how have your fear simulations been?’ I ask, shoving a piece of cake into my mouth.

‘Horrible,’ he frowned, ‘what about yours?’

‘I constantly have nightmares about them, if that says something.’

‘Huh, I thought you weren’t having trouble with them, you have the best time out of all of us.’

I shrugged, ‘doesn’t mean they don’t bother me.’

‘At least it’s almost over, the final fear landscape is tomorrow and then initiation is over, we’ll become official dauntless members,’ as he talked the thought seemed to cheer him up.

‘And we will be considered adults, which is not something I’m looking forward to.’

‘Why not?’

‘Adulthood sucks, you know, you have unwanted responsibilities.’

‘I guess that’s true, but you have more independence, we can move out of my mom’s house, go live in an apartment, together.’

I almost spit the piece of cake I was chewing, ’woah, slow down there, buddy, that’s a big step.’

He chuckled, ‘I meant you, me, Marlene and Lynn, as friends.’

‘Oh, now that makes sense.’

‘We could get one of those big apartments, you know, next to Zeke’s.’

‘I’m not sure I can live with Marlene’s snores for much longer.’

‘Me neither, but we can lock her up in the bathroom or something at night.’

‘Brilliant,’ I laughed, putting my empty plate down on the floor.

As we talked, I felt warm and happy, I came to the realization that I might actually have feelings for Uriah, and honestly, that wasn’t so bad.

_+++++_

My heart beats fast inside my chest and I try to calm myself down, wiping my sweaty hands on my pants. I sat in a room with all the other initiates, waiting for my turn to go through the final fear landscape.

‘Kora, ’ Four calls and I get up, almost automatically.

I walk into the room and he closes the door behind me. I don’t even feel the needle when Four plunges it into my neck, I close my eyes and wait.

When I open my eyes I see the rooftop, the wind hits my face, but this time, I remember what I’m supposed to do.

I give myself one small moment of hesitation, and then I jump out of the roof before the hands can catch me.

I don’t hit the ground, I fall into the water instead. I swim until I emerge from it, the waves hit me from every side, there’s nothing for me to hold on to.

The water pulls me down, I can’t breathe, I can’t swim, I begin to panic. My heart beats fast and I feel like I’m going to pass out.

_Think, Kora, think!_

I release all the air that’s left in me and let my body sink to the bottom. When I feel my lungs burn for air, I reach the bottom, and all the water around me vanishes.

I wait for what feels like an eternity, I don’t know where I am, I can’t see anything or hear anything. I stand up, my clothes are, somehow, dry again.

I hear steps, I know what comes next. And it makes me feel sick.

A man stands a few feet away from me, I don’t know who he is, his face is forgettable. I feel anger building up inside me, I don’t know where it comes from, but it spreads through me like wildfire. I know what I have to do to make it stop.

I run and jump at the men in front of me. I don’t think, I barely feel my fist hit his face. I could just knock him out, but I can’t stop, my fists strike against his skin over and over again, I feel his blood on my skin.

 _Stop,_ I tell myself.

I can’t.

I understand my fears now, they’re all the same, only shown in different forms. I’m afraid of being powerless.

I need to gain control over myself again, I need to end the simulation.

‘You’re not real,’ I choke out, ‘you’re just in my head.’

The man vanishes and I’m left on my knees, staring down at my blood-stained knuckles.

I wait for the next part, but it doesn’t come. The lights turn back on and I’m on the fear landscape room again.

‘That’s it?’ I hear Eric’s voice. I remember the leaders were watching my simulation, ‘Well, congratulations, you have successfully completed your final evaluation.’

I get up, wiping my hands on my pants, even though they’re already dry.

‘There’s one more thing before you can go and get ready for the welcoming banquet,’ I notice he has a black box in his hands. He takes a syringe out of it, ‘This will inject you with a tracking device that will be activated only if you are reported missing.’

I feel my body tense up, I’m not afraid of needles, but something about this seems suspicious to me. I can’t say no, so I tilt my head to the side and wait for it to be over.

_+++++_

The welcoming banquet takes place two hours after our final evaluation. The dining hall is crowded and loud, I look for my friends in the sea of people.

I find Uriah, Marlene, and Lynn sitting with Tris and Christina. I run towards them and sit next to Uriah, ‘hey!’

‘Where have you been?’ Lynn asks.

‘Walking around,’ I shrug. I didn’t go back to the dormitory after the evaluation, I didn’t feel like going back there and discussing my fears with everyone.

‘How was your fear landscape? I heard you-’

A microphone squeals somewhere in the room, interrupting Marlene. Eric stands on one of the tables, holding the microphone.

“We aren’t big on speeches here. Eloquence is for Erudite,” he says. The crowd laughs, but I don’t. “So I’m going to keep this short. It’s a new year, and we have a new pack of initiates. And a slightly smaller pack of new members. We offer them our congratulations.”

At the word “congratulations” the room erupts, not into applause, but into the pounding of fists on tabletops.

“We believe in bravery. We believe in taking action. We believe in freedom from fear and in acquiring the skills to force the bad out of our world so that the good can prosper and thrive. If you also believe in those things, we welcome you.”

More pounding fists, this time accompanied by whoops.

“Tomorrow, in their first act as members, our top ten initiates will choose their professions, in the order of how they are ranked,” Eric says. “The rankings, I know, are what everyone is really waiting for. They are determined by a combination of three scores—the first, from the combat stage of training; the second, from the simulation stage; and the third, from the final examination, the fear landscape. The rankings will appear on the screen behind me.”

As soon as the word “me” leaves his mouth, the names appear on the screen. My name comes first. I smile as Uriah wraps his arms around me. I want to scream in joy.

1.Kora  
2.Tris   
3.Uriah   
4.Lynn   
5.Marlene   
6.Peter   
7.Will   
8.Christina

The room is filled with loud cheers, and they don’t bother me, as I’m cheering with them.

I look to the side and see Tris and Four close together, kissing. It makes me feel weird, betrayed, why didn’t he tell me about this? It makes me feel something else too, but I can’t figure out what it is.

And, out of impulse (or not, honestly, it was bound to happen), I pull Uriah closer to me by his shirt, he looks confused and tense for a split second, but then I connect my lips to his.

His body relaxes, his hands move to my waist, pressing me against him, his lips are fierce and warm against mine. I had to admit, I was enjoying that, a lot.

When we finally pull away from each other, he has a huge smile on his face. And I do too.

_+++++_

The next day, Uriah wakes me up, by shaking me violently.

‘Cut it out, dude! Let me sleep!’ I groan.

‘Kora, you need to get up,’ his tone surprises me, it’s serious and tense, it’s weird for him.

I sit up, ‘what’s wrong?’

‘Simulation, they’re in a simulation, and we are _not!’_

I look around and see people getting dressed, their faces are blank and emotionless, like robots. I look back at Uriah.

‘We need to leave.’


	6. HELLFIRE

The train car bumps over the rails, Marcus, Peter, and Caleb stand by the doorway, Tris rests her head against my shoulder. I usually feel calmer when she’s around, but now, I don’t.

The presence of my father makes me uneasy like there’s a pressure above me at all times. I hadn’t seen Kora since the day before, I didn’t even know if she was alive, it was driving me up the wall.

‘Tris, come on,’ I say, ‘we have to jump.’

We get up and wait for the others to jump, then we follow, jumping off the train car.

We land in the grass near the fence, it’s almost too dark for us to see.

‘There are supposed to be Dauntless guards here,’ says Marcus, ‘where are they?’

‘They were probably under the simulation,’ I reply, ‘and are now… Who knows where doing who knows what.’

I approach the metal box near the fence and open it, revealing a keypad.

‘Let’s hope the Erudite didn’t think to change this combination,’ I type a combination of numbers and the gate clicks open.

‘How did you know that?’ Caleb asks.

‘I worked in the Dauntless control room, monitoring the security system. We only change the codes twice a year,’ I say.

“How lucky,” says Caleb. He gives me a wary look.

“Luck has nothing to do with it,” I reply. “I only worked there because I wanted to make sure I could get out.”

I turn away and begin walking, and soon I hear them following me. 

_ +++++ _

When we are nearing the Amity headquarters I see someone running towards us. 

I stop, suddenly, upon realizing who it was.

‘Kora…’

She wraps her arms around me as soon as she reaches me, almost throwing me down to the ground. 

‘What… How did you get here?’ I ask, wrapping my arms around her, momentarily forgetting about the others.

She lets go of me, her blue eyes quickly scan over everyone’s faces, stopping on my father’s.

‘What is he doing here? Did  _ you _ bring him?’ I notice the last question is directed at Tris, not me.

I don’t give Tris the chance to respond, I don’t think this would end well, ‘let’s get inside.’

_ +++++ _

We let Amity people lead us to our rooms and take care of our injuries, and after it was all done they left us to sleep. 

But I didn’t sleep. Kora came into my room right after they were finished. 

‘What were you doing outside when we got here?’ I ask, it seems like the less important question at the moment, but it was all I could bring myself to ask.

‘I was waiting,’ she says, sitting on the single bed in the room, ‘I was hoping Uriah would come… I don’t know where he is.’

I pulled the chair from the small desk in the room and put it in front of the bed. I sit, facing her.

‘Was he with you?’

‘Yeah,’ she sighs, ‘he woke me up when the simulation started and we followed the others, we figured that the best way to save ourselves would be to act as if we were in the simulation too.’

She looks to the side and I know she’s reliving whatever happened in her head.

‘When we got to the Abnegation compound… that’s when things started to go bad. We thought no one was looking, so we ran, we ran from there as fast and far as we could, but my sister saw us, she was working for the leaders, so she wasn’t in the simulation.’

She pauses, and I can’t fight the urge to ask, ‘is Uriah--’

‘He’s fine as far as I know,’ she says, ‘my sister was pointing a gun at us, so I told him to run, she was more in getting rid of me anyway.’

‘How did you get away?’

She looks down for a moment and takes a deep breath, ‘she was taking me to the leaders, I couldn’t let that happen, I couldn’t just let her lead me to my death or whatever they were going to do to me… I fought her, I think I didn’t get shot out of pure luck.’

She looked to the other side, avoiding my gaze, whatever happened next, she didn’t like it.

‘I took the gun from her, and I shot her. I could’ve walked away, she was in no shape to follow me, but I didn’t,’ she ran her hand through her hair, ‘when I looked at her, all I could see was the times she blamed me for our mother’s death, for our father leaving, every time she beat me up for whatever reason and I--’

‘You don’t need to explain yourself to me, Kora, you did what you had to do.’

She looks up at me and gives me a small smile. Now I begin to notice how tired she looked.

‘And we’ll find Uriah,’ I assure her, ‘I’m sure he’s fine.’

‘Thanks, Four, I think we both need to get some sleep now though,’ she got up and walked towards the door, ‘oh, and tomorrow you’ll have to explain to me how the hell you got here and why your father, out of all people, is here.’

I grin and nod, ‘Tomorrow. Sleep well, Kora.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short chapter, sorryyy


End file.
